Who is Your Perfect Partner?

After reading the New York Times article "Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person" by Alain de Botton, I learned a few things. Granted, most of the content in the opinion article was opiniated, but I still managed to glean the overall message of the writer. The article was about how our romanticized society changed how we decide who we're going to spend the rest of our life with, and more often than not, we will regret our decision later. The author says that pessimism is our only way to relieve ourselves of this bias we have towards choosing the "wrong person." 

"Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person": https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person.html#

He may have a point that I agree with here and there, but in my opinion the article's writer, funnily enough, views humans much too positively, especially for someone who advocates for pessimism. He expects humans to be able to control who they love and have the judgement to make decisions about their beloved. I believe the exact opposite, and you don't even have to take my word for it too. It's scientifically proven that the frontal cortex, the part of our brain that handles logic, judgement, and complex thoughts, has less activity when humans are in love. To quote the article below, "love is illogical."

"The Neuroscience of Love": https://sites.tufts.edu/emotiononthebrain/2014/12/08/the-neuroscience-of-love/

Even without that bit of knowledge, it is widely known that love itself clouds our judgement. Just take a look at any novel, TV show, or movie that has a hint of romance within it. For example, in Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens, Tate falls in love with Kya despite her being much younger, and ostracized by the other kids because she lives in the swamp and she is uneducated. Obviously, he wouldn't even dare to even talk to her if he was acting in his best interest like de Botton believes we should, but it is very clear that he didn't choose Kya because she was similar to him, a rich city boy, or because she resembles anything of the romanticized females in literature that de Botton believes sets wrong standards for the "right person." People choose their significant others regardless of the future just because that's how they were programmed to do.